I Hang My Head in Shame

Delhi is again in news for a heinous act of crime against a 23 year old female student. Over the years, the National Capital Region (NCR) has earned a notorious reputation of being unsafe for women. Several rape cases have made headlines but have mostly fallen on deaf ears. Every case has a similar trend of media coverage, and promises by politicians and police administration for situation to improve. Things hardly change and as soon as media has something new to discuss victim's agony is forgotten and life moves on. There is no denying that crime against women is a scar on the face of our society. Although NCR is undoubtedly the Rape Capital of India unfortunately other Indian cities are not untouched. The frequent report of crime against foreign tourists especially girls in Goa is another example. In daily news we find numerous sad incidents being reported in various Indian cities. As I said earlier, things hardly change and to our horror we continue to move from bad to worse.

 Talking about reaction it is both easy and logical for public to vent out its anger on police administration. However we all need to realize that the men in uniform are people from the society sharing ordinary man’s mindset. Another fact is that Delhi has a population of roughly 17 million so there is a limit to effective policing that can be implemented. I am not defending Delhi police for not being able to ensure safety of women. I believe effective policing has a big role to play but we need some cultural changes to make public life safer for women.

The biggest change I think has to come at the family level. The indiscrimination towards the girl child in Indian societies (especially in Northern India) is far more than common. There are numerous studies indicating Indian parents discriminating in providing better health care and education to the male child. I see the problem here two fold, first the girl child starts to feel unwanted and unsecured at a very early stage of life. Second the favoured male kid just by chance of birth starts to get a false sense of superiority over the other half of the society. Male child from early stages of upbringing is nurtured to believe in having a command over the “weak” women. This false empowerment of the Indian male child is reinforced in following behaviours: 

• Lot of people generally feel absolutely normal in bringing “vulgar” sense of dressing as a reason for instigating eve-teasing and sexual assault against women. Male child feels like his birth-right to comment upon the clothing the women should wear. I have seen a significantly younger brother trying to control and comment on the clothes his elder sister is wearing. May be it’s the guilt of normal conversations about women in Indian male circles that instigates this sharp and defensive reaction. Question is why to have such discussions in the first place?

• Derogatory language used by people is mostly limited to target women. This trend is disturbing and to an extent again certifies the notion of a weaker section of the society.

• Rape by no means is a pleasurable experience even for the male culprit. However, the belief is to “Teach Women a Lesson” because she is not abiding to the “rules” set up by chauvinistic pigs.

• Certain male members also discourage girl/women of the house in speaking against harassment they face in their public life. This is the most dangerous trend of all as it only increases the confidence of a culprit. Girls should be absolutely vocal about any harassment they face and not listen to people (even own father and brother) discouraging them to do so.

Talking to any regular female commuter in public transport in Delhi would bring out shocking stories of molestation and sexual harassment. The fact is that the public transport system is mostly used by not-so-well-off section of the society. Upper middle class, rich and our elite hardly ever board a public bus. Especially our policy makers never use public transport and so have no idea about the existing pathetic conditions and over stressed services. Mahatma Gandhi used to travel in third class just to feel the pain and agony of a common man. However, as the country has “progressed” after independence examples of elites using public transportation, which they in turn are responsible for, is practically impossible to find. Disconnect within the elite and the normal man on the street has to go before we make public life (especially travel) safer for women. It is not a coincidence that almost all the rape victims come from relatively poorer section of the society and are targeted on roads at night waiting for public transport.

Recent shocking incident has created a big uproar among the citizens of Delhi. Some people living in denial may cite the fact that in most of such cases “outsiders” are the culprits and native citizens of Delhi have their hands clean. However in general people demand action and are unanimous in slamming the law and order situation. A bigger problem is the absence of fear and respect people have for rules set out for the society. People have been slamming Delhi police for not being able to stop the bus with tinted glasses in the 40 minute duration of the crime. However, our personal behaviour needs to be scrutinised. The number of cars operating on the roads of Delhi with dark glasses is just huge. A major section of the society simply refuses to comply with the administration’s order to not to have filmed glasses. People need to be more responsible and have a broader perspective of the consequences their actions can have on a stranger’s life. Driving drunk is another example; people take pride in discussing their drunken driving skills socially. The fear of law and understanding the broader consequences of not abiding to it has to come at individual level. The so-called educated section of the society can definitely be more proactive and cooperating as thousands of cars with tinted glasses and drunk drivers cannot be controlled by the police alone.

As I write this article a lot of us are concerned and terribly confused about what is this all about. Is this a total breakdown of the society or we are seeing a big divide where people relying on public services are left on their own destiny. I firmly believe that this crime against women is a result of wrong attitude developed by years of false upbringing. Things would have to change and that would definitely take time. One thing is certain that we need to fight this battle at individual level and it can’t be left only to policy makers and police. Reason I say individual attention is needed comes from the fact that UP government which has offered to takeover the medical expenditures of the victim in the recent case has sitting MLA’s tainted with rape charges. We as a society should show zero tolerance and make sure that goons are not elected to coveted positions. Situation looks grim but we can take strength from the fact that India gave one of the first women prime ministers to the world. For now, I hang my head in shame.